Aam Admi Budget

What the Aam Aadmi Wants, the Aam Aadmi Gets

Tongue-in-cheek When Madam calls, I instinctively stand up. Which is how I got the bump on my head. She called when I was sitting inside a car riding from North Block to South Block

Madam said, “Have you started making the Budget?” My head spinning in pain, I said, “Yes Madam.” “Please keep the aam aadmi in mind when you make the Budget,” she said and clicked off. “Of course Madam, yes I will,” I said.

Madam is very fond of the aam aadmi. She always says that the aam aadmi voted us into power. Madam is always correct.
I too am very fond of the aam aadmi. Before this Budget, I want to meet him to know what he wants.

But as you know my schedule is very busy. And I have to meet many people before the Budget. During the first meeting when everyone sat down, I said, “Look I’m looking for the aam aadmi. Are you the aam aadmi?” “Yes,” said everyone. “Good, what do you want?”

“I want zero taxes for all aam aadmi whose incomes are above Rs 20 crore.” “Done, next.” “No taxes on iron.” “Done.”
“None on oil, please.” “Done.” “I’d like a port.” “He wants a port? I want an airport.” “Good, good. Done, next.”
“I want some spectrum.” “What’s that?” I asked. “Sir, never mind what. You can’t see it, you can’t touch it, can I get it?” “You got it. Next.” “I’d like a few mines.” “You got them.” “I’d like interest rates to go down to zero.”
“Zero, you got it.”

“Could you sell some government companies to me?” “Sure, why not?” “If you’re selling those companies to him, will you sell me some as well?” “Of course, of course.”

“If you don’t mind, I’m a little short of cash right now. So maybe you could loan a few of those companies to me for now. I’ll pay you back later. Promise.”

“Sure. But why are you short of cash?” “Sir, the aam aadmi is always short of cash. And I blew mine buying an airline and a cricket team.” Everybody around the table moaned in sympathy. Me, I don’t have time to watch cricket.

“Alright everybody. Is that all?” “Thank you sir, you are so kind,” said everyone and walked out. I turned to my secretary, whose face had turned a horrible shade of purple.

“What’s the matter, Chakrabarty? Have you got dyspepsia? Here have some Gelusil. I always keep some in my drawer.”
“Thank you sir,” said Chakrabarty, gulping Gelusil, “But what did you just do?”

I felt a warm glow of satisfaction come over me, “A Budget for aam aadmi. That’s what we’re going to have this year. Madam will be so happy.”

Code of Conduct for Break Up

On one fine evening , I was relaxing on my bed watching movie. There was a nice breeze that day, cool air passing through my hairs. That was such an amazing feel. I felt lighter and content. But wait a second what am I writing , this post is supposed to be about break up thing. How can it be so smooth? Awww… bad really bad on my part , sorry mislead you people.
Well , yeah this blog is supposed to be about my break up thing. Please man now I am trying to get into the mood of heart break kid and you are on to literal meaning. My body is not disintegrating, its about break up from my relationship. Where is my glycerin man , I need to make the ambience like that. Please note this is for the readers , now I am crying , so whatever I am writing should be taken seriously :P.
Ok, so on that fine evening , which I described above. When I was about to attain nirvana , my cell phone beeped and I donno some invisible hand pulled me back into this world. I was back with a BANg, though this sound was made piece of my heart my X10 mini fell on the floor. What next I read on the screen was breath stopping like I just got a paralysis attack and everything went numb. From the blues of sky some alien has done something in my phone, the message was from my gal and it read ‘I am not in a relationship with you anymore’. Hmm , that is a mistake definitely a mistake , some one else’s message got delivered to me with her name. I know she will call in night and we’ll talk about everything under the sky.
1 hour passed, 2 hours, when these hours became days , I have no idea. Man this is serious , there was no alien who did that, it was her and she was damm ! serious . I am into shit now deep shit!!.so I decided like every time to pick up my phone and call her sort out the things, but then due to some data processing in my head I did nothing. So this was a stupid story of my break up. But what is to be mentioned here is, I donno how to react , I donno what to say and do as I am going through my break up. AAwwwww … I have watched so many bollywood movies , but they are of no help. Someone said you should listen to sad songs and cry , listening part was ok but man I couldn’t cry as I don’t feel anything. Now this is serious , I should cry coz that is the code of conduct of break up. Well that is the teasing part I am not sad , I am not crying , I am doing no crazy stuff. But , this is not the way ideally people after breakup do. Rather I am feeling awesome , I enjoyed loads of movie and I am feeling awesome. I am clueless why am I feeling so. Any ways the next post will be more of gossips and images that attract you in all corners .

My comic story.....

In three months I am turning 28 years old. This is apparently a big deal, or so says everyone around me, and I am feeling a lot of pressure to celebrate it as such. But for some reason, I can’t really get worked up about it—either in a positive or negative way—and I don’t think that’s such a bad thing.

Last year I made a big stink out of my 27th birthday. I spent my whole Birthday slogging in my office like butt off. I was hoping a birthday party with everyone I could possibly think of invited. And then I had a late night birthday dinner with my family (which incidentally includes me & my bro coz both were working late ….so late dinner). I worked late that day because I knew I might be crippled with depression otherwise if a had a day off. After all, my only boyfriend had just forgotten my birthday and was no longer interested in going to be the one whom I can get married and started thinking about having kids. I was back to square one and I desperately wanted to distract myself from thinking about that with the help of a little pseudo celebration. And no celebration... It sort of worked.

This year is different. 28 is a fairly epic birthday for me as it’s the start of a new chapter in my life, one that will likely feature all those “getting older” milestones of marriage (if I decide I want to, that is), kids, and career advancements. Some people find this scary because they think it signifies the end of a fun, fancy-free youth filled with boozing and boning and that they’re oh-so-much closer to death. As a result, I think a lot of people go balls out on their birthday celebrations as a way of telling themselves and anyone who will listen that they’re still alive and kicking, and having a great time of it, dammit! Kind of like I will do on my 28^th birthday, only to prove  everyone, including myself, that despite getting left by my boyfriends  and not knowing what in the hell the next stage of my life was going to be—because that was seriously frightening to me—I was going to be OK.

Three months away from turning 28, I feel great about where my life is. I have an awesome group of friends and cousins who really proved how supportive they could be in the last year. My family is there for me & supports my decisions. I’m healthy and, most of all, I’m happy. I have a wonderful family, a great cousin, and the best—if exhausting—job a person could ask for. I want to meet someone new who, at the very least, would make me realize that I can feel strongly for someone again. And Sachin Tendulkar playing again for World Cup! How can I not be content?

I don’t feel the need or the desire to make a big deal out of turning 28, because it seems so inconsequential in comparison to the changes that have occurred in my life over the last year. I don’t feel depressed about being another year older, but I also don’t have a desire to make a big stink about what a fabulous 28-year-old Single, Not married I’m going to be. Basically, I think I’m going to treat 28 the way I would treat any other birthday—I’ll put on a fun dress, have dinner with my friends, drink myself stupid at a bar, and then tuck myself in, content with not knowing what is going to happen next.